So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
