you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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