Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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