we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize