just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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