i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
