i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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