I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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