I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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