awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
