Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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