they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
