You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
