Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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