I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
