Dual....:-)
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
