oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
