that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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