In the future we'll all be gay
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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