You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
