Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
