maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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