haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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