it wasn't lemon gatorade
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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