So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize