Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm just crazy horny about you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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