Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
