shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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