i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
