i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
