The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize