I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
