dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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