margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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