"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
