Can i not drive my cunt home
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
