1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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