Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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