the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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