My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
