Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
