do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's never too late to be topless.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
