let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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