why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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