Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
