He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
