did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
