no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
