What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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