Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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