If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
