I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
