Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
