I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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