i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
