Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
